Every culture has its dance forms, and all dance forms have their teachers. Since the dawn of time, instructors have agonized over the right words to use when trying to get people to move their bodies in a way that we can call dance. Thanks to our President, our problem has a brilliant solution.
Now that our President’s name is on our passports, our buildings, our dollar bills, and soon, an arch in our nations’ capital, one might conclude that we’ve run out of places to honor him. But on the night of his birthday, to reward himself for 80 years of living in his body, he made a new declaration:
“We will now call all of our body parts ‘Trump.’ Your arm is not your arm, it’s Trump. You can forget your foot because it’s now Trump. Even your brain is Trump.”
Among dancers, this news spread like wildfire. I personally experienced what can only be described as elation. Finally, we’ll be able to teach people how to dance. No matter the style—ballet or hip hop, tango or hula—we’ll all be speaking the same language.
Let me show you what I mean.
If you always wanted to do a pirouette, try the following exercise:
Put your two Trumps together.
Put your weight on the back of the Trumps and point your Trumps outward.
Place your weight on one Trump while you move the other Trump slightly to the back with your Trump turned outward.
Place one Trump in a circle in front of you and the other Trump to the side.
Now, you are READY!
In one swift motion, bring the Trump that’s to the side towards the rounded Trump in front of you, push off the back Trump, bring the back Trump up to touch your standing Trump, go up on the ball of your Trump, and spin!
This is going to make choreographing so much easier.
Bravo. Thank you, Mr. President.
